Communicating with a Family Member Diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or Dementia

“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” - Carl W. Buechner

In our practice, we frequently meet with individuals or family members of a person who has Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia. At times, it can be challenging for our team, and more importantly the family, when it comes to communicating with their loved one.     

Dementia is not a specific disease.  Instead, it is an umbrella term to describe a wide range of symptoms, including memory loss and other intellectual abilities serious enough to disturb a person’s daily life. Alzheimer’s is the most common form of dementia and accounts for 60 to 80 percent of dementia cases.  Alzheimer’s is a progressive disease limiting one’s ability to express thoughts, emotions, and verbal communication.

Dementia can be broken down into three stages. The three stages are early, middle, and late. Each stage has its own characteristics and recommendations for effective communication.

In the early stage, the individual may be able to engage in conversations and social activities. In many cases, drive or work. You may notice they repeat themselves and stumble to find the right word. To communicate through this stage, it is suggested you:

-         Speak directly to the individual;

-   Take time to listen. Try not to become impatient when they repeat  themselves;

-         Give them time to respond. Do not interrupt their train of thought;

-         Avoid criticizing or correcting; and

-         Limit distractions. Surroundings should allow the individual to focus on their thoughts.

The middle stage of dementia is typically the longest stage. During this stage, the individual will experience greater difficulty with verbal communication and will need more direct guidance. They may jumble their words and be easy to frustrate or anger. To communicate through this stage, it is suggested you:

-         Keep good eye contact to show you are engaged;

-         Speak slowly and clearly;

-    Ask simple yes or no questions, “Would you like some coffee?” Not, “What would you like to drink?”;

-         Give visual cues to help guide their thinking; and

-         Use written notes. This can assist when spoken words are confusing.

Lastly, the late stage. This stage can last for weeks or several years. The individual may now rely solely on nonverbal communication. In this stage it is typical the individual will require 24 hour care. To communicate through this difficult stage, it is suggested you:

-      Call the individual by name;

-      Always approach from the front so not to startle them;

-      Engage in non-verbal communication - use touch, sights, sounds, smells, and tastes;

-      Ask them to point or gesture if you can’t understand; and

-   Treat the person with respect - avoid ignoring them while engaged in other conversations. 

As illustrated above, communicating with an individual with Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia requires compassion, patience and great listening skills.  The suggestions provided are just a few ways to help you and your loved one effectively communicate with one another.

If you have a loved one experiencing early signs of dementia or Alzheimer's, it is important to act early, while your loved one still has capacity.  Call us today or attend one of our complimentary workshops for more information.